Crazy Nights
by Megifone
Summary: Severus, Hermione, Sirius, and Snape's stuffed animal, Wolfie go out and have some crazy times. Rated PG for some language and a little inuendo.
1. The Revealing

Authors Notes: All right, this is written by three people and it gets a little crazy so hold on!!! (Try to imagine three girls who are crazy and really bored!!!) We had a great time writing it and always tried to stump the other girls by leaving cliffhangers in the messages (we took turns in our writing and sometimes set word limits) Anyways, this will most likely be short, but it's fun, and guaranteed a laugh!!!  
  
  
  
The chapters do not have names because we could not think of any so you'll just have to live without them. LOL!  
  
  
  
Anyways, Hold on to your seats and enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Snape was sleeping with a very small black stuffed animal named Wolfie.  
  
  
  
Now this animal liked to have wild parties and dance around like a wild pony in extremely tight tights. Severus was worried because he didn't know how to dance so instead he decided to Higher Sirius Black the Poofy bitch. Now Sirius watched Snape dance [and] laughed at the redicules oaf because he wore pink (bunny) ears...  
  
  
  
"Hmm," said Sirius as Severus did the Macarena before him.  
  
  
  
"You look like a ding bat!" Sirius said and he showed the other his longg sword. Severus fainted and swooned. It (was)-- long, silver, and it had pockadots on it and stripes  
  
  
  
"You stole that off Wolfie!" said Severus who was very angry at Sirius for stealing Wolfie's beloved chew toy—  
  
  
  
"give it back" Severus said with a puffed up chest "this is Wolfie's. Wolfie this...is your long lost brother, Sirius"  
  
  
  
"Nooooooooooooooooo," said Wolfie and he jumped on Black's chest and began to bite him  
  
  
  
"no, Wolfie, stop it!" said Severus. "What I meant to say was he's your long lost soul mate who died 36 years ago and has comeback in the form of Sirius, don't ask me how I know this, but I do, so just except it."  
  
  
  
Wolfie nodded solemnly and backed away from the terrified Sirius then he realized that what Snape said was right and said to Sirius "Turn into a dog, please, so we can do our long lost tradition of pant swapping!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
  
And so the two long forlorn soul mates, unbuckled their robes and removed their pants ((*re-reminds group that pants means underwear in British or so elixia says)) "o my, Wolfie, what big PANTS you have!!! You make me proud, big arse"  
  
  
  
"thanks " said Wolfie "I work out with the buns of steel video every night! Gotta keep it in good form ya know!"  
  
  
  
And so the excited little fluff balls drifted off into conversation, leaving poor Mr. Snape to look on miserably. "If only Hermione was here," he said with a longing look in his deep black eyes.  
  
  
  
"I am! Professor Snake hips! Let's go dance!"  
  
  
  
"I have a better idea!" said Snape with a smile quivering in the corner of his mouth.  
  
  
  
"What is it?"  
  
  
  
"I think you know" Severus replied  
  
  
  
Hermione smiled and said..." lets go, I've been waiting eagerly for your big strong friend Wolfie to escort me to the Ball."  
  
  
  
"No," said Severus, "I will take you, after all, you are no longer a student, your a teacher, it is allowed. Come, let's get ready." 


	2. The Ding Bat

Ch. 2 Ivy, IST, and Megifone Fanfic, Chapter 2 by Meg and IST  
  
"So Sevvie..." Hermione said as she was walking downstairs all ready for the ball "Are you going to drag along that Wolfie friend with you all the time?"  
  
  
  
"No, I..." Severus stuttered, "Never mind, let's go!"  
  
  
  
"B-but then why are you giving Wolfie a piggy back ride with his boy bitch?" Hermione asked confused, "put them down, their not going with us, they can come, but we'll be arriving in different carriages, Sorry Sirius, but I have to look out for my and Severus' relationship, we are already looked down upon, seeing how we are former teacher/student. It was two years ago, and now that I am a teacher, why cant people just let it go!!!!!"  
  
  
  
Sirius burst out crying. Sniffling and shaking his head miserably, "But Wolfie said--?"  
  
  
  
"What did Wolfie say?" Hermione said as her glares moved from Wolfie, to Severus and back.  
  
  
  
Severus interrupted, "Now Hermione, lets not spoil the evening, I have some great plans for us when we get back, you'll be amazed!!! Come, let's go." He looked at Sirius and added, "In separate carriages and not another word will be said about it!"  
  
  
  
Sirius sniffed, "But Wolfie said you liked us, and we could hang around with you?"  
  
  
  
Wolfie gets all macho and walks up to Snape, "That's right honey."  
  
  
  
Hermione responded, "Yes, that's true, I do like you and hanging around you, but when were in public, it's another story, yes, we will sit together and eat together, but arriving together would start too many rumors. So please understand Sirius, it's not that I don't like yours and Wolfe's company; it's just that Severus and I are NOT accepted yet so we have to be careful. Severus, won't you say something, darling."  
  
  
  
Snape mumbles something inaudible and looks deeply into Wolfie's sad plastic eyes and stays silent.  
  
  
  
Hermione's eyes widen, "Fine, never mind, lets just go," she looked at the three hopelessly, "together."  
  
  
  
Wolfie jumps for joy and pats Snape on the back. They all exited and Snape shut and magically locked and warded the door. He then locked arms with Hermione and the headed for the carriage where Sirius and Wolfie were already inside and moving about ferociously fighting for the better window seat. Severus sighed. "Don't look at me!"  
  
  
  
Hermione stated, "This is your doing."  
  
  
  
"I know," Severus, replied, "How do I always get myself into this mess?" Then he helped her in and they were off.  
  
  
  
However, Sirius and Wolfie were already busy in the carriage and locked the door inside the carriage to the driver's distaste.  
  
  
  
Snape sighed again as Hermione pulled out her wand and unlocked the door. They entered as they glared at the two. Snape shut the door behind them and then sat next to Hermione and focused solely on her.  
  
  
  
"Can I borrow your wonder bra?" Severus said as Hermione looked at him surprised.  
  
  
  
Sirius and Wolfie hushed right away, waiting longingly for the reply. "You, of all people, should know that I don't wear one, but I could get you one, depending on what you need it for, which would be..." Hermione waited for his answer.  
  
  
  
"Um...Okay..." Snape gulped. "Never mind."  
  
  
  
"No really, I want to know, you've got my, and apparently, Wolfie and Sirius' full attention. What is it, we wont laugh, I promise."  
  
  
  
"I don't!" exclaimed Sirius and Wolfie together.  
  
  
  
"Yes you do!!!" Hermione said as she gave the two a stern look.  
  
  
  
" It's for my pet dingbat. He's been bugging me for one for ages."  
  
  
  
"WHAT?!?!?!?!" the three yelled in harmony. "You have a pet dingbat?" Wolfie voiced, he added with a sad look, "Do you love him more then me? What's his name, I'll KILL him!!!!"  
  
  
  
"There, there dear." Sirius said putting one arm around Wolfie as if to comfort him, but it was doing no good.  
  
  
  
"I..." Severus started, but just then the carriage stopped and they were at the ball.  
  
  
  
"Put on smiles everybody, Severus and I will exit first, ok??? I know your upset, Wolfie, but we can discuss this inside." They all did as Hermione said. Severus got out first and then helped Hermione out. Wolfie and Sirius got out, Wolfie a bit reluctant at first, and then the couples made their way inside to their table and luckily there were only four places so that when they were to continue their interrupted conversation, no one else would hear.  
  
  
  
Wolfie was looking sternly at Severus, who in turn focused on Hermione as if looking at her could post pone Wolfie's reaction to what the truth was. This action just kept Wolfie brewing.  
  
  
  
When the four were finally alone, Wolfie said," I WANT YOU ALL!!!"  
  
  
  
"I'll take you!" cried Sirius, "But what do you want them for, they only want each other when it comes to intimacy!"  
  
  
  
Wolfie pats Sirius on the head and kisses him on the nose. "Nah...It's okay Snuffles...That just slipped out. What I meant to say was -Snape's flies are undone and his Ding Bat is hanging out! Grab that Ding Bat!"  
  
  
  
To be continued 


End file.
